What am I the Wizard of Oz? Need a brain? Need a heart? Here take mine.

Posted in Books, Bring on the Rain, Growing Up, I heart Lists, life, So I'm a bit crazy sometimes..., WHAT?! on September 21, 2008 by Danielle Self

I realize that I have been gone for far too long and that I perhaps have lost ALL of my regular readers… but honestly, that was a price that I was willing to pay. I had to make certain people forget that I had a blog. Hopefully it worked. Hopefully they don’t check this anymore. And again… hopefully I can get back to spilling things out like I was prior to my big outing. Because honestly- I need this blog. I need it as an outlet to let myself know that Im not as crazy as I feel. That there are other people out there that go through similar things. Writing in my journal over the past few weeks has helped a bit but not near as much as this was.

So back to where we left off- I’m honestly not sure where to begin… so much has happened in the past month that its been slightly EXTREMELY overwhelming. Guess that means only one thing. Bullet time.

  • I bought a new car. 2005 Altima in a Charcoal Gray. Its so pretty and exactly what I wanted. I managed to flirt enough that they pushed me down to 7000 below internet price. I began to regret that flirting decision when the 40 something financial guy from Toyota started stalker calling me to go to Padrissimo (a Hispanic Dance Club) ANYWHO. The next morning after I took my perfect car home it started smoking. Long story short- I’ve been in a rental car for the past month as they put in a new engine.
  • Rental Car. Right? That was smashed into a pole last weekend after I made a bad decision to go drink 3/4 of a fifth of Smirnoff and then go joy riding to my old sorority house. WHY?! Who knows… but I am so broke now that its not even funny. Its horrible to say but I am very very fortunate that is all that happened. Thank God there were no other cars involved nor the police. THAT would have been really bad. I am not hurt either. I didn’t even know that I had wrecked until the next morning. I wouldn’t say that I am lucky that it happened.. just fortunate that that was ALL that happened.
  • Resulting Consequences? $500 paid to the rental company and the wreck go on my insurance. Fiance has prohibited drinking and “strongly discourages” me hanging out with my best guy friend from here. He said that if I touched another glass of alcohol until he thought I was ready that the wedding was off. Needless to say- I gave my roommate my alcohol and told her to have it drank before the end of the week or it was going down the drain. It was gone 2 nights later.
  • J forgave me and we began to move on. Things were tight but we were making it. All we needed was to sell my car back in Hawaii and we were home free. 3 days after the accident Justin called and told me that my car was totaled. He had taken it to go show it to a chick in the military that was really interested and it wouldn’t start. He took it to the shop and they told him that the repairs would be about $2000… blown head gasket among other things… the car is only worth about $3000. So the best deal we could manage was to give it to someone that agreed to tow it off the mechanics lot for free.
  • Oh, and did I mention that my alcoholic escapade, the wreck, the car not being able to be sold and my car tags being due all occurred within the same week and couple days?! Yea. BAD WEEK.
  • Yea. I’m broke. I have School bills to pay that I was forced to put on my credit card. Thats a good $1300… now that the car didn’t sell I have to put my sales tax for my new car on my credit card as well which I’m anticipating to be about another $1000. Then somehow I need to buy Justin’s wedding band which is another $850ish. ANNNNNNNNNNNND we need to ship my car back to Hawaii in December which is $1500. ANNNNNNNNND we need to furnish our new house. Yea. Broke doesn’t QUITE describe that loads of crap I’m wading through.
  • Solutions? I’m moving back in with the parentals until the wedding. Yes, its only 2 months but I still feel like a serious failure at life. I’m selling all my pageant paraphernalia on ebay. And signing my life away over to odd jobs. Earlier this week I babysat my demon half-siblings. And tomorrow I am pulling weeds for my mom and cleaning her resource room. BLEGH. NOT FUN. But you do what you have to do right?
  • And here’s the real kicker and the thing that really is going to save or destroy everything. The top secret mission. Justin and I are getting married when he comes in town this weekend. As in going to the justice of the peace and signing the paperwork. I know this sounds silly considering we are so close to the actual wedding… but we both know that we are getting married and he gets paid an extra $2500ish a month for us being married. And obviously as you can see in the earlier bullets that we could really use that extra money. So thats how its going to save everything. It could seriously get destroyed though if my mother finds out. I’m doubting that she would be as obliged to pay for the wedding if she knew that the reason that there was the wedding was already taken care of. Now I thought this would be easy to hide from her until my father made a good point. Legal things are put in the paper as public record and there is nothing that you can do to get them out of there. All it would take is one of her nosy friends to be looking through there and then we would be screwed.
  • OH and another thing. My laptop died. Like not the battery died. The computer itself is dead. Gone to a better place… dead. The screen refuses to come back on. I called a repair place to get a quote and he said about $250 I decided at that point that it was better to call it a loss and save up for a new MacBook when possible.
  • My. World. Has. Been. A. Black. Hole. Of. Despair. Seriously. Black. Hole.

The only thing that has been bringing light into my life is knowing that I get to see J in LESS THAN FOUR DAYS!!!!! And I’ve recently become sucked into Twilight. I read the first two books in 3 days. I’m about three quarters ways through the last book. I fracking LOVE those books. I want to be a vampire and I want to make out with Edward Cullen. I’m going to find him. End of story.

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It’s never safe to be nostalgic about something until you’re absolutely certain there’s no chance of its coming back.

Posted in Growing Up, life, So I'm a bit crazy sometimes... on August 3, 2008 by Danielle Self

I interrupt the regularly scheduled programming to bring you a blast from my past.

I realize I promised an awesome link post but I got caught up in buying a car. (Which I shall discuss later) But I’m almost done with the post…. so just keep checking back…. but until then-

I have to say that nostalgia has hit me hard.  As in… I miss everything.  

There’s a great quote that I found about nostalgia when I was looking for an appropriate title to this post- Nostalgia is a seductive liar.

I agree whole heartedly.  Right at the end of freshman year my BFF and I made videos commemorating our year. I mean Lets get real- my freshman year sucked…. I was drunk 85% of the time, I got my heart broken, I failed all my classes, had many nights that I’d rather forget and then some I wished I remembered.  But every time I look back at these videos, I can’t help but want to go back and call all of the old gang and get wasted and remember all those crazy times. 

My two best friends in the entire world from that year and I don’t even speak anymore…. its sad to look at these videos plastered with pictures of us and then realize that they aren’t there anymore. Its weird to see how someone who is such a huge part of your life can be non-existent in it in a matter of a few weeks. 

But.  I’m getting married.  And I couldn’t be happier. Everything that I’ve done and experienced has lead me to this point and I am so happy that I’m moving on with an amazing person.  Just today there is that little thing in the back of my head that longs for being a child again so I don’t have to worry about bills or the future.  All that mattered was right then, the cutest guy in the room and how much was in my flask. 

What about those videos that BFF and I made?  Well I’m glad you asked.

This goes out to all the engaged (or hoping to be eventually.)

Posted in Weddings on July 24, 2008 by Danielle Self

It seems like the wedding planning NEVER ends.  Don’t get me wrong… its fun.  But believe it or not- there are times when I really don’t want to think about who is coming and if they are bringing kids, what kind of appetizers to serve, who’s going to make those appetizers, whatdressshouldthebridesmaidswear,whattuxshouldthegroomsmen
wear,howamIgoingtofiteverythinginmybudget,ifI’mgoingtohavekickass
backandshouldersformykickassstraplessdress,ifmyabsenteefianceis
goingtolikeeverythyingIchoose, among others. It. Gets. Slightly. Overwhelming.  And by slightly, I mean that it feels like there is a big meteor about to hit Earth and the whole world’s survival depends on if I choose the right size lilly for my bouquet.

SO- I have decided that I am going to begin a blog series on different wedding websites and ideas that I’ve found.  Hope you enjoy!

Today, I am starting off with just random ideas that I’ve found in the past few months that my FH (future husband- EEEEEK!) and I plan to use on our big day.  

*Favors-Since we aren’t having a huge wedding we decided that a cute idea for our favors would be to have a tall clear cookie jar filled with my grandma’s AWESOME fudge and then another one filled with her AMAZING divinity.  Then we are going to have the recipes on little slips of paper in front of the jars so our guests can go home and make it for themselves too!  This could also work to have your mom’s cookie recipe and his mom’s brownie recipe or anything like that.

*Custom Monograms– momentsofelegance.com makes custom monograms for about $35 each and then emails you the copy.  You can use this and take it to Kinko’s or any other printing store and get them printed on your DIY invitations, programs, or get iron on transfers made for your runner or t-shirts and bags.  You could make this the “theme” of your wedding. 

*Trivia- I found these adorable place card holders on sale.  I had NO idea what to do with them though since we aren’t having assigned seating since there are so few people that are going to be coming.  So my mom and I had a brainstorm in the isle and came up with the idea of having random trivia placed on the tables- including the ones with the food.  For example, one will say “Justin and Danielle had their first date on August 24, 2007” and another will say “Justin and Danielle have a min-pin puppy named Bo.”

*Advice Boxes– I think my mom came up with this idea.  We are going to have advice for the bride and advice for the groom boxes.  Now this has probably been done tons of times… but what makes ours unique is the decor of the boxes.  My future sister-in-law and I took a trip to Hobby Lobby and got two round craft boxes.  One tall and skinnier… one shorter and fatter.  The tall skinny one is OF COURSE the brides. We painted the cardboard colored box white and stenciled “bride” on the top.  Then, we added a veil.  We bought about a yard or two of tulle and glued what looks like a long viel on to the back of the box.  For the groom’s, we painted in black and added a strip of white ribbon right under the lid and to that ribbon we attached an old bow tie that we found.  For the buttons we used small gems and just put three going down the box.  We stenciled “groom” on the top of this one.  Cut slits and we were done!  I’ll add pictures of this one when I get home since they don’t sound as good on here… but for now- trust me that they are ADORABLE.

*Signs- our location is out in the middle of no where.  We rented out a 2-story colonial house.  So we are going to have cute little signs leading the way from the two ways that our guests will be getting there.  It’ll just say things like “Justin and Danielle are getting hitched!” then have an arrow leading the way.  Very rustic looking.

*Growing up Pictures- My FH and I didn’t have a very long courtship… and in the bulk of that we weren’t very happy with the way that we were looking.  So we don’t have many pictures of us together but we both have tons of cute growing up pictures that I wanted to find something to do with.  I have decided on one of two options- the first of which being the standard photo slideshow projected on the wall with some of the music that we really want played.  The second of which being a photo line.  Drape ribbon or clothing line or fishing line or whatever and attach the actual childhood pictures of both of you with a clip so that your guests can enjoy them as long and as often as they want!

Next post- Great Bargain Websites and ways to cheat the over priced wedding market!

A dream is a wish your heart makes

Posted in Dreams (the kind you have while sleeping) on July 21, 2008 by Danielle Self

I heard somewhere that when you become pregnant you start having crazy dreams like every. single. night.  Um…. there is no physically possible way that I’m pregnant unless I’m carrying one of two things…. a) spawn of Satan or b) God’s other son- George.

Anywho- I have been having the CRAZIEST dreams lately.  Everything from running and falling off buildings, to watching myself as I’m floating above my head, to being chased by monsters, to being homeless, to last night’s dolphin dream. It was really really odd.

I was sitting next to this huge tank with dolphins and sharks.  My feet were dangling in when all of a sudden one of the dolphins wants to play.  She grabs my foot with her teeth and pulls me in.  Then she circles around me and for a bit it was like I was a mermaid.  I could see under water… breathe under water… and swim amazingly.  But as soon as I got out of the water- I was normal again.  So I got out and dangled my feet in again…. but the dolphin wasn’t done playing.  She grabbed my foot again and circled around me then pushed me up out of the water. (Think the thing they do where they glide you across the water at Sea World teamed with a huge catapult to thrust you from the water as they jump in and out) That sounds pretty normal right?  Right… except that my dolphin had a problem.  Its head was all bumpy like it was crossed with something else.  So it was a dolphin without really being a dolphin?  Yea… that sounds about right.

Feeling very curious- I looked up what dolphin dreams meant.
“DOLPHINS : Dolphins tend to be very spiritual creatures and we associate them with beautiful harmonious feelings and great intelligence. They can link with good communication within a relationship and spiritual excitement. So look for such themes right now in your life.

QUESTIONS to help you make associations(pick the one that makes most sense to you)
– Does the dream seem to be about one person? If so does your relationship seem a lot easier right now??
– In what ways have you been enjoying life recently?”

ANSWERS
– It was all about me and my dolphin…. so uh… my relationship with myself?  I’ve actually been doing pretty good…. finally getting to the point where I’m happy with my body and where I’m at.
-I have been enjoying life in the form of nonstop wedding planning and the ultimate registering for gifts.  Its like making your list to Santa but you get to pick out the brand, color, and size too.

Maybe there is something to this unconscience dream meaning thing.

Are you there Blog? Its me, Danielle.

Posted in Random on July 17, 2008 by Danielle Self

Now I can’t decide if substituting “Blog” for “God” will send me directly to hell or not….

Guess we’ll see.

Things have been tres busy lately if you can’t tell due to my extended absence.  I would take a picture of my bedroom and bathroom to show you how messed up they are to validate me even more but I am WAY too embarassed for that.

Failed my classes I took this summer… which rocks…. I vote that all college professors must have an easy to understand (or at least not impossible to understand) English accent when teaching super hard classes. It makes my life so much harder than it should be. $1500 down the hole… never to see ever ever again. Boo.

Been planning my weddddding!  Yea bitches its still on!  I would have to say that my favorite thing about being engaged is talking to old boyfriends and rubbing it in their face that I found a wonderful man who loves me and wants to give me the world and they are trying to figure out what whore they slept with gave them the clap.  Selfish?  Probably.  But I don’t care.

Went and got my dress last weekend… it is gorgeous!!  And Cheap!!! AND we booked a venue that you should click right here to see.

So yes- good things are all around :-) expect more blogging. I am determined to not let it slip away again.

Engaged: Take 2

Posted in Random on June 17, 2008 by Danielle Self

I’m re-engaged!  Yea chicka what chicka fake id

Its going to be December 18th or 20th.  The place that I want to have it is available on the 18th.. but thats a Thursday. So I guess we’ll have to see.  Since its going to be around Christmas, the Lights of the Ozarks will be up which you can see here, here, and here. And the location that we are looking at is right across from the Square so it would be like a ready made picture taking area.  And the horses and carriages will already be down there… we can just reserve one.

J wants to wear his dress blues so I think that the colors will be dark blues and purples and some pinks- like here.

I’m so fracking excited. :-) I get to marry my favorite person in the entire world and wake up to him every fracking day!

Next step- letting the roommate know she needs to find a roommate from Jan-June… ICK.

Confessions of a Socially Awkward College Chick

Posted in College, So I'm a bit crazy sometimes... on June 9, 2008 by Danielle Self

Have you ever been walking somewhere and started thinking to yourself that someone you walked by looked weird?

Then started going over in your head, if you ever had a conversation with this person how it would go?

Then you laugh because you’re playing out a situation that will never happen in your head?

Then laugh harder because you “say something stupid” to that fictional person?

Then you correct yourself?

Then you realize you’re talking to yourself?

Then you realize that you should stop because “only crazy people talk to themselves?”

Then you realize that you’re arguing with yourself in your head?

Then you try to tell yourself to stop again?

Then you realize that in trying to tell yourself to stop you are perpetuating the cycle of talking to yourself?

Then you realize that you are probably much weirder than that person that you just walked by and made fun of in your head?

Yea…. me either.