Archive for the Unsent Letters Category

Dear People of Oahu,

Posted in Hawaii, This makes serial killers, Unsent Letters on May 1, 2008 by Danielle Self

It is NOT okay to let your 2-5 year olds hang out in empty parking lots by themselves.  I don’t care if you live in the apartments right next to the parking lot.  It is a YOUNG CHILD walking around without supervision.  Do y’all remember the 2 year old that was thrown from the overpass onto the freeway?! Do you realize that could have been anyone’s child?  Including yours! Wise up.  Watch your children.  Its not hard.

Pregnancy is beautiful. Absolutely breathtakingly beautiful.  UNTIL you wear a belly shirt and booty shorts so that you can show off your marijuana plant tattoo on your abdomen.  Nice. (I thought about taking a discrete picture with my phone when I saw this but decided pregnant or not she could kick my ass…)

Why do you vandalize everything?  I mean legit everything.  CompUSA has been closed like a month and you can barely tell that it was painted white at one point.  Its ridiculous.  Since when is spray painting stuff is bad hand writing cool?  And why didn’t anyone tell me when this crossed over from seriously skanky?

Why do you all suck at driving?  If you are EXACTLY even with my car on the road… chances are I can not see your turn signal.  It DOES NOT HELP matters when you decided that since I haven’t let you in front of me, to go ahead and start moving in my lane.  When I’m still EXACTLY even with you. Tell me what logic this makes.  I will hunt you down.

Just so you know- the red, yellow, and green thing- is Jamaica’s deal.  Not yours.  STOP EFFING WEARING IT LIKE YOU ARE SO ORIGINAL. It not only is not original… but ugly.  Deal.

Have you all ever heard of ambition? I’m doubting it… but living with your parents until you are 32 because its easy, not necessary… is NOT a component of ambition.

Locals- (specifically… my neighbors) driving your big ass truck on MY yard is not okay. Leaving your flip flops on MY yard is not okay.  AND MOST IMPORTANTLY leaving all your trash on my yard IS NOT OKAY.

Buying cars and putting “In Memory Of——” should not be a trendy thing to do.  It doesn’t make sense either!  You bought your car in loving memory of your deceased aunt?  No you didn’t… you bought it in loving memory of driving around instead of taking the bus. Like I’m all about making tributes to those that we’ve lost… but thats not the way to do it.

Have you ever heard of cleaning up after yourselves?  Hawaii would be SO much more beautiful if you all would just care about your house and yard and area in general.  I’m tired of seeing decent apartments and houses look like trash because y’all just don’t care.  You always blame the military for making Hawaii less beautiful.  If it wasn’t for the military here… we might as well just make you all a land fill island.  For the trash.  Locals… obviously you’ll be able to stay since you fit so neatly into that category.

I’m pissy.  Sorry.  No… you know what?  I’m not sorry. I’m pissy and Hawaii- you deserve all the rage that you are getting from me.  Probably even more.  I wish one of those volcanoes would take you out… never to be seen again.



Posted in Random, Unsent Letters, Work on April 15, 2008 by Danielle Self

This could very possibly be a slightly touchy subject for a few: thats right, I’m going to talk about racism.

I read that bogus post “Thank You White People” or whatever that was so big and I was flabbergasted.  Had a white person written something along the lines of that… we would have been hunted down and shot and accused of some horrible crime like punching babies in the face or tripping old people.  I understand that somebody’s great great grandparents enslaved their great great grandparents.  And that sucks. But really? That was 100s of years ago and the white people of America can only say “I’m sorry” so many times. It was not our fault but the fault of our past.  Yes, there are some crazy people that still believe that they are of a lower class because of their skin color… but I honestly do not believe that that is the majority.

Before I go any further I want to make sure that people don’t think that I’m racist because I am most definitely not.  High School Sweetheart is Latino and LA Lawyer is African American as well as a football player that I briefly dated right after high school. I hold no grudges against any race other than when the topic of racism arises because that tends to be when people get dumb.

Okay now that that is out of the way, I rarely just really dislike people. I’m indifferent to a lot of people where I don’t necessarily like them but I don’t necessarily dislike them.  But today I crossed a line with one of my coworkers.  She is a new agent and thinks she is hot shit. Shes been gradually getting on my nerves since she first started working here.  I tried to avoid her so as to prolong the “indifferent phase” but I can’t any longer. I want to rip her weave out. I believe she is from VA but I’m not sure.  Nevertheless, I think that she is the right hand of Satan.

I am an office assistant.  As in I generally assist people in the office as well as the broad business side of things.  I file; I print; I type; I organize; I greet; I assist.  I get that.  It is my job to help them in any way I can and I am more than happy to do it considering I’m usually sitting here stalking people’s blogs because I have nothing to do. However, it is not my job to be their bitch.

If you would like for me to print something off for you (out of sheer kindness because this is your work to do) because you are irresponsible and FORTY MINUTES LATE to your meeting do not raise your voice at me and shove out your hand and grasp the air like I’m an idiot that should have already had this done.  Also, if you’re leaving, just leave, you don’t have to come by my desk and tell me.  I’ll realize you aren’t here by the lack of putrid arrogance in the air.  After receiving a compliment, most people would smile and say thank you.  You, you, you.  You are different though.  Just so you know “I know. Isn’t it great? God blessed me with good genes.” is NOT an acceptable response to someone saying that you don’t look your age. (which btw is WAY old)

I’m sure that some of you are wondering why I started off with racism and then went to how I despise this new agent.  Well, heres the rub- shes African American. I’m doubting I would have said anything anyways due to me being so nonconfrontational. But considering I am from the South it would be even MORE taboo to say anything to her about her being a bitch because of her race. Although my disliking her has to do with her lack of personality, humility, and kindness, if there was anyone that could tell I didn’t like her it would be automatically construed as racism.  And that sucks.  If she was purple, blue, yellow, brown, or white, I would still think that she needed an attitude adjustment. However, she is not.  She is black and because she is black I almost have to treat her with an extra amount of respect than I would people of my own race because I am overly cautious about being seen as racist.

I remember when I was dating that college football player that my mom found out who he was.  She had heard me say his name and as she was watching the news, sports came on and they were talking about him.  She called me that very moment and told me that I needed to come home. When I got back to my house, she informed me that I was no longer allowed to see him anymore and if she saw his phone number on the bill one more time that I would no longer have a phone. I told her that I really didn’t care what she thought but that I was going to see him anyways.  I was grounded for two weeks.  I got grounded for casually dating a black man.  Dead Serious.  She told me that it wasn’t necessarily her that had a problem but that she knew that my step father and grandparents would and she didn’t want to have to deal with that.  She said that if I continued the relationship that I would no longer be accepted in the family and that they would all disown me.


Seeing that level of blind racism and seeing how it can hurt someone made me realize that I never even wanted to be seen that way.  I know what is in my heart but I never wanted anyone to even question if I was racist or not.  However, I feel that its sad that I nearly have to put people of other races on a pedestal in order to accomplish that.

Why is the first response to someone not being especially nice to someone of a different race- racism?