Archive for the Random Category

Are you there Blog? Its me, Danielle.

Posted in Random on July 17, 2008 by Danielle Self

Now I can’t decide if substituting “Blog” for “God” will send me directly to hell or not….

Guess we’ll see.

Things have been tres busy lately if you can’t tell due to my extended absence.  I would take a picture of my bedroom and bathroom to show you how messed up they are to validate me even more but I am WAY too embarassed for that.

Failed my classes I took this summer… which rocks…. I vote that all college professors must have an easy to understand (or at least not impossible to understand) English accent when teaching super hard classes. It makes my life so much harder than it should be. $1500 down the hole… never to see ever ever again. Boo.

Been planning my weddddding!  Yea bitches its still on!  I would have to say that my favorite thing about being engaged is talking to old boyfriends and rubbing it in their face that I found a wonderful man who loves me and wants to give me the world and they are trying to figure out what whore they slept with gave them the clap.  Selfish?  Probably.  But I don’t care.

Went and got my dress last weekend… it is gorgeous!!  And Cheap!!! AND we booked a venue that you should click right here to see.

So yes- good things are all around :-) expect more blogging. I am determined to not let it slip away again.


Engaged: Take 2

Posted in Random on June 17, 2008 by Danielle Self

I’m re-engaged!  Yea chicka what chicka fake id

Its going to be December 18th or 20th.  The place that I want to have it is available on the 18th.. but thats a Thursday. So I guess we’ll have to see.  Since its going to be around Christmas, the Lights of the Ozarks will be up which you can see here, here, and here. And the location that we are looking at is right across from the Square so it would be like a ready made picture taking area.  And the horses and carriages will already be down there… we can just reserve one.

J wants to wear his dress blues so I think that the colors will be dark blues and purples and some pinks- like here.

I’m so fracking excited. :-) I get to marry my favorite person in the entire world and wake up to him every fracking day!

Next step- letting the roommate know she needs to find a roommate from Jan-June… ICK.


Posted in College, Random, Sorority on June 3, 2008 by Danielle Self

I’m selling some of my letter shirts on ebay. So far, I’ve gotten only one bid- but the chicka that has bid on them so far seems very very interesting.

“I’m in Belegarth Medieval Combat Society in the realm of Wolfpack of the High Plains. I go by Bevin there. I’m also in Pi Beta Phi sorority…I go by Amanda there.”

…. seriously?  Shes a LARPer.  AND a sorority girl.  You definitely don’t see that everyday.

**Had an interesting lunch with T today- will discuss in depth tomorrow when I don’t have to study for a hugeo midterm worth almost half my grade.

Lost in Translation

Posted in Hawaii, Random, The South, Work on May 8, 2008 by Danielle Self

Pre-story: The real estate office that I work with has been entertaining an investor from Bulgaria. He’s super duper rich and is one of the top 10 builders in the entire nation of Bulgaria. He LOVES his mother land and is VERY European. As in, the first time I met him he was wearing booty shorts that I’m not even brave enough to wear. His name is Milen (Pronounced Mee-lan).

Milen: (Points at me) She no Hawaiian no?
CoWorker: No, Milen. She is from Arkansas. She is American.
Milen: Where is this Arkansas (Pronounced: Ar-can-sass)?
Me: Southern America
Milen: (shrug)
Me: By Texas.
Milen: Ahhhh! Texas! I know Texas! I fly with people from Texas. They no smell nice. Smell like no have shower for week.
Me: Haha… well some people probably don’t shower that much.
Milen: No all Texas people no smell good. Smell like dirty shower. I no say you smell no good. Texas people smell no good.

Next Day

Me: Hi Milen! How are you?
Milen: (Moves mere inches from my face) I’m doing good. How is you?
Me: I’m doing great, Thanks. You smell nice. (He really did… )
Milen: Oh! I no smell like I form Texas no?
Me: Hah… you smell good. Better than Texas people.
Milen: You like my smell?
Me: Yes I do. Its very nice.
Milen: I don’t know if I smell Texas people or their villages. Texas get around on horse no?
Me: I’m sorry?
Milen: Texas people go on horse from village to village no?
Me: Absolutely… I wish we had cars there. It’d make things a lot easier.
Milen: How big Arkansas city?
Me: Oh… about half a million.
Milen: That all? That small. Where is Arkansas City by?
Me: Um… Its by Dallas.
Milen: Oh! Dallas. Dallas pretty but no smell good.

The Day After that my boss told me that while they were at dinner Milen asked if he thought I would “make sex” with him. He wanted me to go back to Bulgaria with him and be ONE of his girlfriends. Someone asked how he got referred to such a small real estate company. Our loan officer’s mom does his hair plugs.

A weekend full of bullets. (not literally… literary)

Posted in Dreams (the kind you have while sleeping), Freaking Hilarious, Hawaii, I heart Lists, Random, Television on April 28, 2008 by Danielle Self
  • If I have ONE more dream about television I may be forced to with go watching it for a couple weeks.  This time I dreamed I was one of Hef’s girlfriends… I love me some Girls Next Door.
  • I played Wii for like 2 hours a day Saturday and Sunday… I can’t decide if I’m just a lot more out of shape than I had originally thought or if playing the wii is just that good of a work out.  Either way- I breathe and I feel every muscle in my back and I can’t straighten my arms out completely.  I haven’t been this sore in FOREVER.
  • Saturday was J’s dad’s death day… 9 years.  Pretty crazy….
  • J and I went to go see “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” last weekend.  So OBVIOUSLY this weekend was filled to the brim with the unforgetable scene “I’ve got a surprise for you!” while I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe. Ever notice how a naked girl is sexy and a naked guy is funny?  Haha
  • I figured out how to get all the photos off my iPhone.  It was a magnificent moment of clarity. 4 months of attempts… concluding with SUCCESS! See a few examples of my world below.

    WHAT THE EFF IS ON THAT GUY’S HEAD?! I’ll tell you what… lots of tiny rubber bands.  Guy- You looked like such a douche bag that I had to take a picture of you.  Color coordinating your hair ties with your t-shirt= NOT COOL.

    OMG.  Hahahaha J found a tattoo in his poptart box so I convinced him that ass tattoos are exponentially cooler than upper arm tattoos.  TO THE MOOOOON!

    Alright alright alright… Hawaii doesn’t suck all the time.

    In fact sometimes… its quite pretty.
  • I had the CRAZIEST dream… I was going to prom with the most random people in the world.  My date was this guy that I knew in high school but never once talked to.  The whole day before prom I had this power to “fix” whatever I wanted.  Almost like I had unlimited wishes.  All I had to do was close my eyes and imagine what I had was what I wanted and when I opened my eyes, it would be changed. I thought this was a great insight on how I’ve been feeling lately.  So while I was driving around earlier in the day I wished that my water was a delicious shake that was good for me.  And then it was.  Then I wished that my dress was designer.  And then it was.  Then I wished that my date was hotter.  And then he was.  Then I wished that I had the most perfect smokey eye look.  And then I did. By the end of my dream though, no one wanted to go to prom so it didn’t matter what my dress looked like or my make up.  Random… but neat I guess.  I wish I had that power. That’d be BA.

Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously.

Posted in Growing Up, life, Random on April 22, 2008 by Danielle Self

I started reading “Stupid and Contagious” by Caprice Crane yesterday which just so happens to be an AMAZING book so far. I’ll go more into that when I finish it but what I mean to talk about is that there seemed to be a reoccurring theme in my day.

The theme was choices and how they shape every. single. little. moment. of your life. There was an excerpt from the book where Brady was talking about how every little thing that he did had led up to his recent ex and how had one little tiny little thing changed that he probably would not have met her.  Then when I was watching Greek (which was a phenomenal episode) they were going back in the past and showing how that little choices led to bigger choices which led to huge moments in time that changed Everything.

Then I got to thinking about how little things have changed my life so drastically. Its crazy how you take little to no time to make some decisions which in retrospect could be the most important moment in your life.  For instance, had you not worn a certain color dress to a party maybe that guy wouldn’t have noticed you and then the first and subsequent second, third, fourth, etc dates wouldn’t have occurred.  Then where would you be had you never met him?

For me, it was what if I hadn’t started drinking after high school?- Would T and I still be together? Would I be in Hawaii?…. What if I had gone to Baylor like I had originally planned?- Who would I have met? How would things be different?…. What if I had pledged the other sorority that I went to on pref night?- Who would have been my partner in crime? Would I have even had one? What secrets would I have learned?… What if J and I had slowed things down from the very beginning?- Would we still be together?  What would our relationship be like now?

Its crazy when you realize that small decisions make such a huge impact on every moment in your life.  I skipped the gym yesterday because my stomach was upset- If I would have went, would I have met someone? Would I have hurt myself? Little things like that where you don’t really think it makes a difference could have been a defining moment in the master plan of your life.

Even if you choose to not make a choice- that in itself is a choice. Its crazy to think about.

I know its dumb to think about so much and it does nothing to think about the what ifs but its kind of cool to think that each day you are making monumental decisions that define your life and where you will be in a week… month… a year… and even ten years.

Part of me thinks that everyone holds the key to their own destiny and each choice is consciously made and leads you on one path or another to a future that you are shaping with each moment.  However on the other hand, part of me wants to believe in destiny. That each decision kind of tricks you into thinking that you made it on your own.  But that each person has a predetermined destiny and future.  Kind of the idea that although smaller decisions may change,  they are completely linked into one large cosmic maze that ultimately has only one exit.

Interesting.  Very interesting.


Posted in Random, Unsent Letters, Work on April 15, 2008 by Danielle Self

This could very possibly be a slightly touchy subject for a few: thats right, I’m going to talk about racism.

I read that bogus post “Thank You White People” or whatever that was so big and I was flabbergasted.  Had a white person written something along the lines of that… we would have been hunted down and shot and accused of some horrible crime like punching babies in the face or tripping old people.  I understand that somebody’s great great grandparents enslaved their great great grandparents.  And that sucks. But really? That was 100s of years ago and the white people of America can only say “I’m sorry” so many times. It was not our fault but the fault of our past.  Yes, there are some crazy people that still believe that they are of a lower class because of their skin color… but I honestly do not believe that that is the majority.

Before I go any further I want to make sure that people don’t think that I’m racist because I am most definitely not.  High School Sweetheart is Latino and LA Lawyer is African American as well as a football player that I briefly dated right after high school. I hold no grudges against any race other than when the topic of racism arises because that tends to be when people get dumb.

Okay now that that is out of the way, I rarely just really dislike people. I’m indifferent to a lot of people where I don’t necessarily like them but I don’t necessarily dislike them.  But today I crossed a line with one of my coworkers.  She is a new agent and thinks she is hot shit. Shes been gradually getting on my nerves since she first started working here.  I tried to avoid her so as to prolong the “indifferent phase” but I can’t any longer. I want to rip her weave out. I believe she is from VA but I’m not sure.  Nevertheless, I think that she is the right hand of Satan.

I am an office assistant.  As in I generally assist people in the office as well as the broad business side of things.  I file; I print; I type; I organize; I greet; I assist.  I get that.  It is my job to help them in any way I can and I am more than happy to do it considering I’m usually sitting here stalking people’s blogs because I have nothing to do. However, it is not my job to be their bitch.

If you would like for me to print something off for you (out of sheer kindness because this is your work to do) because you are irresponsible and FORTY MINUTES LATE to your meeting do not raise your voice at me and shove out your hand and grasp the air like I’m an idiot that should have already had this done.  Also, if you’re leaving, just leave, you don’t have to come by my desk and tell me.  I’ll realize you aren’t here by the lack of putrid arrogance in the air.  After receiving a compliment, most people would smile and say thank you.  You, you, you.  You are different though.  Just so you know “I know. Isn’t it great? God blessed me with good genes.” is NOT an acceptable response to someone saying that you don’t look your age. (which btw is WAY old)

I’m sure that some of you are wondering why I started off with racism and then went to how I despise this new agent.  Well, heres the rub- shes African American. I’m doubting I would have said anything anyways due to me being so nonconfrontational. But considering I am from the South it would be even MORE taboo to say anything to her about her being a bitch because of her race. Although my disliking her has to do with her lack of personality, humility, and kindness, if there was anyone that could tell I didn’t like her it would be automatically construed as racism.  And that sucks.  If she was purple, blue, yellow, brown, or white, I would still think that she needed an attitude adjustment. However, she is not.  She is black and because she is black I almost have to treat her with an extra amount of respect than I would people of my own race because I am overly cautious about being seen as racist.

I remember when I was dating that college football player that my mom found out who he was.  She had heard me say his name and as she was watching the news, sports came on and they were talking about him.  She called me that very moment and told me that I needed to come home. When I got back to my house, she informed me that I was no longer allowed to see him anymore and if she saw his phone number on the bill one more time that I would no longer have a phone. I told her that I really didn’t care what she thought but that I was going to see him anyways.  I was grounded for two weeks.  I got grounded for casually dating a black man.  Dead Serious.  She told me that it wasn’t necessarily her that had a problem but that she knew that my step father and grandparents would and she didn’t want to have to deal with that.  She said that if I continued the relationship that I would no longer be accepted in the family and that they would all disown me.


Seeing that level of blind racism and seeing how it can hurt someone made me realize that I never even wanted to be seen that way.  I know what is in my heart but I never wanted anyone to even question if I was racist or not.  However, I feel that its sad that I nearly have to put people of other races on a pedestal in order to accomplish that.

Why is the first response to someone not being especially nice to someone of a different race- racism?