Archive for the My Mom Category

Beautiful Imperfection.

Posted in Bring on the Rain, Daddy Issues, Heart-to-Hearts, life, Love, Marriage, My Mom, Weddings on December 22, 2008 by Danielle Self

Its amazing the amount of things that can happen when you aren’t paying attention.

In the past year, I moved, went back to school, got re-engaged, dropped back out of school, got in a wreck, got a new car, decided said new car was a junker, got married, got in another wreck, lost a best friend, gained a new best friend, lost my father, got married again, and am now awaiting another move in a week.

Today is December 22, 2008 and I have been legally married to my husband for nearly 3 months now even though we just had the wedding on the 18th. It was beautiful. Of course there were a few things that didn’t go perfectly but really that’s part of what made it so beautiful.

As I sit here at my new mother-in-law’s house and watch my husband sleep in his signature pose (mouth WIDE open), I can’t help but realize how lucky I am to find a match that fits me so well. No, he’s not perfect. But neither am I. We argue… we fight… we definitely disagree on some things… but all in all we are each other’s perfect balance.

Its odd to think about how one minor decision changed on either side could have altered everything. Now I couldn’t be more thankful for my past drinking problems and his failure to even show up to his classes.

Not only has my marital status changed, but so has my religious status. A self proclaimed atheist mere weeks ago, I’m ready to start believing there is a God again. I’m still not so sure about this Heaven and Hell stuff… but I’ve come to the conclusion that there is no way that all of the things that happened to get me here writing this today could have happened without a little guidance from the giant puppeteer in the sky.

Also, if there were no God… then how could I feel my dad watching me right now as I type? I miss him. More than I thought I would, to be honest. I guess its the old saying that you never really know what you have until its gone. Yes, he made many many many mistakes and for a while I really and truly hated him for it. But it was another one of those things that had it not happened, my life would have been drastically different and I’m 100% positive that I wouldn’t be sitting here next to my prissy little puppy and snoozing husband.

Now, I’m about to head back off to Hawaii. The one thing that crosses my mind? How desperately I’m going to miss my mom. There are other people and things I’m going to miss here… but my mom. My mom has been my rock for so long and kept me grounded and heading in the right direction. She’s not perfect… but we’re developing the perfect balance in our relationship more and more everyday. Its so easy to take people for granted until they are taken away from you. I know that my mom will always be there for me… but its different when you are 4,000 miles away. I’ll just have to keep my promise of no babies until I’m back in the Continental so she can spoil them properly.

In a messy room… filled with dirty clothes, beer, game cords, not much money, but a whole lot of love… I must say that I am easily one of the luckiest people in the world.

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TOTALLY Inappropriate.

Posted in My Mom on April 11, 2008 by Danielle Self

Yesterday afternoon while I was at work my mother and I had a conversation via MSN Messenger.  I was all types of upset afterward.  Someone please let me know I was not out of line getting upset with her.  Her helicopter hovering continues….

Mom: I noticed that boy is talking to you again… did he feel rejected after you left?
Me: ha yea. I haven’t talked to him on the phone in about 2 weeks.
Mom: hmmm….
Me: like the thing about him is he was one of those guys where I knew I had him if I wanted… it was too easy. He was talking about how an ocean between our relationship was hard but that “we could overcome anything after this.” Like I said I was open to dating other guys when I get back home but I am NOT open to relationships so soon. If at all.  We’ll see.
Mom: Sounds like the closed door you had with T
Me: nah
Mom: Do you even remember the whole logic you had about navy guys being in dead end jobs and that wasnt the lifestyle you wanted…

Me: I’m not open to relationships so soon because I don’t think its fair for someone to be in a relationship with me knowing that I’m on the phone with someone else nearly every night and that I can’t give my all to the relationship NOT because I’m waiting on him
Mom: so you plan already to talk every night
Me: uh yes he’s my friend…  regardless of anything else he is my friend and just so you know- I’m not going to change my mind
Mom: uh just so you know.. I wasnt asking you to.
Me: you implied that you were
Mom: no… that is what you heard.
Me: “so you’re already planning to talk every night?” what else would that mean?!
Mom: it means what it said…. so.. you are already planning to talk to him every night.. that is still a relationship.. but that is your deal
Me: yea it is.
Mom: “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving”
Me: planning on it
Mom: “One day at a time–this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.”
Me: okay mom. I get it
Mom: i am done and i am going to bed.
Me: I’m going to do what I’m going to do
Mom: I think your step dad wants sex.
Me: was that necessary?
Mom: your welcome. I know how to shut you up.
Me: J’s coming over tonight too
Mom: So? He does every night.
Me: Um NO. I see him on the weekends and thats really it.
Mom: Whatever. take some midol and chill.

Was that necessary?! Normal moms dont do that do they? Regardless I’m not going to talk to my daughter like this. Ever.  So angry following this.  But I had a GREAT workout… so the anger worked out for me I suppose..