Shhhhh! I’m sleeping!

I was browsing the 20 something bloggers site and I came across the topic for the January Blog Carnival.

First Kiss.

My. Oh. My. Have a got a horribly embarrassing story for you.

I was in the 6th grade and I thought that I was so cool because I was “going out” with one of my older brother’s friend.  I mean he was 14 and I was 12.  How much more scandalous can you get?

We had been “going out” for about a month when my mom (who obviously had to chauffeur us everywhere at that point) came up with the idea that we could go on a “date” to the drive-in. I don’t even remember what movie was playing because I was too busy gazing starry eyed up at him and knowing that tonight I was going to get my first kiss.  I. was. scared. shitless.  So after the first movie was over and he still hadn’t kissed me yet, I snuggled up to him and pretended to go to sleep.  As my head lay in his lap (told you… scandalous…) (I KEEED.  I was only TWELVE PEOPLE! Get your head out of the gutter.) my mom decided to be all sly and go get some nachos at the concession stand to leave us alone for a bit.  Boyfriend went in for the kill.  Mind you, I was still “sleeping” at this point.  I flipped out.  All in my head. I was seriously about to have a heart attack because he was kissing me. Giving me my first real kiss. And what was I doing? Still pretending to be asleep.  Thats right.

The worst part about it? It wasn’t just like a peck first kiss.  He went from having never kissed me at all to trying to shove his tongue past my tonsils. And I pretended to be asleep the entire time.  I didn’t move a single muscle all 45ish seconds of him dousing my face with his spit. I stayed completely limp.

Boyfriend and I never said a word about it after the fact.  It was like it never happened.  If only I really could erase his memory of that.


One Response to “Shhhhh! I’m sleeping!”

  1. Hilarious… you must have a cool mom.

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