A Multitude of Happenings.

  • T and I had lunch a couple days ago.  And it went perfectly.  Just as I hoped it would have.  Of course it was natural to want to flirt but other than that there was nothing.  I. Felt. Nothing.  And it was perfect.  We argued a lot because he doesn’t think that J is good enough for me…. but I assured him that I really didn’t care what he thought and that I was a big girl and I could do whatever I wanted.  I was amazed that I didn’t care to call him that night and overanalyze the entire situation.  I was amazed that when I told him he was stupid for dating a married woman and he got mad that I felt no need to apologize and grovel for forgiveness. I was amazed that when he left, a hug was sufficient.  I was amazed that all I could think about while sitting with him was J and how I couldn’t wait to see him again.
  • I’ve been back in Arkansas for about 3 weeks now and have yet to have an alcoholic drink besides the couple beers I had with J.  I’m more proud of myself than I think people even realize. HOWEVER, I am pretty dang tired of my roommate already.  Its 12:30 in the morning… I have class at 730… and there is a party going on in my living room.  Amazing how 3 jello shots and one mixed drink will have you wasted in a matter of… ohhhh…. 15 minutes?  Crazy.  Someone please shoot me.
  • My Fazzha called today and told me that he was sick and needed me to come and babysit my twin siblings. (Translation: “Daughter, I’m out of drugs and my surgery recovery time is up.  Time to find something else that makes me sick for 8-10 months.  Come over so I look legit.”) I’m so tired of it.  Thats a WHOLE nother ball game though… Maybe I’ll muster up the energy to release my daddy issues on everyone this weekened sometime… not right now though.  I’m too in the moment to be level headed about it.  But I’m not sure that after 15 years of being in the moment, that I’ll be able to take myself out of it.  I just wish he would man up and quit being such a dick head.
  • J…. ahhhh J….. I’m sticking to my theory that he is one of the more complicated men in this world.  I love him dearly but I can’t understand him worth anything.  One minute he’s lovey dovey and wants to elope because he can’t stand to be away from me and the next he’s saying that he refuses to get married until I’ve graduated.  I just really don’t know what to do.  I guess my only option is to just wait…
  • I got a job today :-) Finally! I’m going to be working at a tanning place in town.  Its not the best money in the world but it’ll do for now.
  • Oh!  And I’ve also started working out again everyday.  J won’t see me again until December and I want to make sure that I look better than ever :-)
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