Inspiration

My blogging “mentor” had a really great post today. (By the way- chances are you found me through her site… but if not GO CHECK HER OUT NOW.  She’s really cool.) But anywho- I thought that I would follow suit and write about things that I sometimes do/think/feel.

Sometimes…

… I drink so that I can say things I want to say and if it doesn’t go over well, blame it on the alcohol.

… I want to move to a different state without telling anyone so I can start completely over with a brand new identity.

… I flirt so that the guy that I know is crushing on me will stay hooked, even if I’m totally not interested.

… I wish I would break my leg so I’d have an excuse to be lazy.

… I dance naked in front of the mirror to just the tunes in my head.

… I look up at the stars and feel so insignificant that I wonder if anyone cares.

… I go to church and argue with myself the entire hour because I feel guilty for what I was doing the night before.

… I think I am way more good looking than I actually am.

… I don’t give myself enough credit.

… I think that J and I didn’t move too fast, it was just a test in our relationship that he couldn’t handle.

… I want to slam my car into the car in front of me for no reason at all.

… I think about making an audition tape for the Real World- then I realize I’m not confrontational enough to get on.

… I lie to people because I’m ashamed of my past.

… I question my ability to succeed.

… I’m perfectly okay with the status quo and see no reason to keep trying new things.

… I wonder what my life would be like had I stayed in Arkansas.

… I wonder if I should give up on guys.

… I think working out is a waste of time.

… I want to buy risque lingerie to wear for no one in particular.

… I drive to Taco Bell just to talk myself out of it the moment I get in the drive thru.

… I dial J or Ts number to hang up as soon as it rings the first time and when they call back, pretend that I didn’t call them.

… I think I’m too picky in my taste of men.

… I get nervous and completely forget the name/ breed of my dog when a cute guy asks me.  (Not that that just happened.)

… I say I am 23 when I’m really not. (That didn’t just happen either.)

… I feel so alive and full of life that I smile for no reason at all.

… I feel so dead inside that I can’t muster up the energy to get out of bed.

… I worry about the future far more than I should.

… I forget to live for today.

… I’m way too dramatic over the little things.

… I drink to null emotions.

…  I cry during songs that hit home.

… I cry for no reason at all other than it feels good.

… I wish I was still naive about the way the world works.

… My hormones go CRAZY and I snap at the people I love for no reason.

… I wish I could be one of those people who don’t care about fashion and beauty.

… I cook J dinner, just so that he’ll want to come over and see me.

… I watch movies multiple times in a row, and love it each time.

… I watch the Disney Channel. Hannah Montana rocks. Wizards of Waverly Place? So good. Suite Life of Zach and Cody? GREAT.

… I feel like my head is going to explode with all the thoughts that just won’t leave.

… I’ll drink an entire gallon of milk in one day.

… I’m so organized that it nearly becomes unorganized.

… I make To-Do Lists for my week and schedule out exact times for showering, eating, calling my mom, brushing my teeth, etc. and get frustrated if I don’t follow them to the minute even if my scheduled “free time” is right after.

…  I’ll check my email 10+ times a day. Knowing that theres only a select 5 or so people who even know about that email.

… I’ll write my first name and J’s last name together as many times as it takes to get my new signature perfect.

… I can’t so no when people ask for my number, so I usually give them my email.

… I want to jump into the future.

… I realize that I’m at where I’m at for a reason.

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